Parents Share: "Our Open Adoption Over the Years"

Adoptive moms and dads share how their open adoptions have changed over time — whether they became more or less open, and why.

An adoptive mother watches her son at the beach and thinks about contact with his birth mother

On our Facebook page (, we asked readers, If you have an open adoption, has it become more or less “open” over the years? Here’s what you said:

More! We met each other nearly 26 years ago, both scared of what was to come. We have became so close and the boys know and love her, too. Blessings abound!” —DEBRA

We had a wonderful relationship, visiting and being visited by her and her daughter (our daughter’s half sister) once a year. She would always thank us and say she 100 percent felt that our daughter was our daughter…and then she fell off the face of the earth,with no explanation.” —ERICA

“We have a very open relationship with the birth mom’s family only, but not with the birth mom. This contact has stayed the same.” —HEATHER

Less, per the birth mother’s choice. We now have a photo sharing site, and I post pictures frequently. This way, she can look whenever she wants and her email is not overtaken by emails from me. She decided that this is what works best for her right now. I’m praying that it will one day be more open again, with visits.” —SUZANNE

We adopted from foster care three years ago. Our daughter hasn’t seen her birth mother in more than four years. In the last year, we’ve begun to have more social media contact with her birth mother and her extended family.” —TINA

We are in year three of our open adoption and contact has stayed fairly consistent.” —MARY

“Much less. It hurts my heart, but I trust her decision. I can’t in a million years understand what’s she’s going through. She needs to find her way.” —CARRIE




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